The pattern of association versus dissociation is a powerful way to influence your emotional state. Imagine you’re planning a holiday but need to save money first. Which mental approach would be more motivating?
Association
Picture your holiday destination vividly, like a full-color, immersive movie playing through your own eyes. You can almost reach out and touch the scene. You hear inviting sounds or music that match the place’s atmosphere. Your inner voice might say, “I can’t wait to be there!” This kind of mental experience is so rich and detailed, it could rival a Spielberg film.
On the flip side, phobias often happen because a person is stuck in an associated state with intense emotions. NLP’s phobia treatment techniques aim to shift the person from this overwhelmed, associated state to a dissociated one, which allows for emotional relief.
Dissociation
Now imagine looking at your destination like a small, black-and-white photo, seeing yourself in the scene rather than experiencing it through your own eyes. Your inner voice says, “It might be nice, I guess.” This is a more detached way of experiencing the memory or idea.
Using Association and Dissociation Effectively
This distinction between association and dissociation is a key submodality in NLP. When you are associated, you fully relive an experience with all its feelings and sensations. When dissociated, you observe the event from a distance, which changes how you emotionally relate to it. This concept is different from clinical dissociative disorders.
When to Use Association
Being associated works best for pleasant experiences, making them more enjoyable. It’s also essential when learning new skills, especially physical ones like sports. Being associated with the task helps boost motivation and engagement.
When to Use Dissociation
Dissociation is more helpful for dealing with unpleasant memories or tasks you don’t enjoy. For example, to motivate yourself to complete a tedious chore, you might visualize yourself doing each step in a detached way but then associate with the positive feeling of completing it.
How People Often Get It Wrong
Many people unintentionally make life harder by reliving negative experiences in an associated state, fully feeling the discomfort. Meanwhile, they might think about positive memories or fun activities in a detached, dissociated way, losing the joy. Even worse is doing something enjoyable while mentally distracted by stressful tasks like taxes.