Nominalizations occur when we take an action (a verb) and turn it into a noun, creating the illusion that it is a fixed, unchanging thing. This shift in language can be misleading because it tricks our minds into seeing processes as static concepts. For example, a decision is the act of deciding, and a relationship […]
Nominalizations – A Recipe for Misunderstanding Read More »
The Meta Model, The Meta Model DistortionsMind reading is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking or feeling without any real confirmation. This habit often leads to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict, making it an important area to address in effective communication and problem-solving strategies. The Tendency to Assume Intent At some point, we’ve all assigned meaning to someone’s
Mind Reading – Jumping to Conclusions Read More »
The Meta Model, The Meta Model DistortionsCause-and-effect statements reflect how we believe things work, often assuming that one action directly leads to a specific outcome. However, just because we accept a cause-and-effect relationship as true doesn’t mean it actually is. Examining these assumptions can help us uncover new perspectives and alternative solutions. Common Cause-and-Effect Patterns A frequent form of cause-and-effect thinking
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The Meta Model, The Meta Model DistortionsLost performatives occur when a personal belief is presented as an absolute truth. When statements are framed this way, we often accept them without questioning their validity, unlike when they are expressed as personal opinions. This is common with clichés and widely accepted sayings—ideas that seem universally true but whose origins have been forgotten. While
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The Meta Model, The Meta Model DistortionsWouldn’t it be helpful if people simply accepted what you said without questioning it? Linguistic presuppositions, a key component of both the Meta Model and Milton Model language patterns, make this possible. A classic example used by parents is: “Do you want to go to bed now or in 30 minutes?” While it appears to
Linguistic Presuppositions – Encouraging Acceptance in Communication Read More »
The Meta Model, The Meta Model DistortionsUniversal quantifiers are words that imply absolute certainty, suggesting there are no exceptions and, therefore, no choices. In some cases, this can be empowering—such as believing that perseverance always leads to success. However, more often than not, this pattern of thinking creates unnecessary limitations. When we assume a situation is unchangeable, we stop looking for
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Meta Model Generalizations, The Meta ModelThe term modal operators refers to the way we approach actions and decisions—our mode of operating. These include words like must, should, can’t, have to, mustn’t, can, and will, which indicate either necessity or possibility. There’s a significant difference between doing something because you feel obligated versus doing it because you genuinely want to. Necessity-Based
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Meta Model Generalizations, The Meta ModelComplex equivalences occur when we form beliefs based on generalizations, equating two separate experiences as if they are inherently connected. For example, assuming that someone avoiding eye contact means they are being dishonest. These links are often weak and can lead to misunderstandings. Recognizing the connections we’ve unconsciously made can be liberating. I once worked
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Meta Model Generalizations, The Meta ModelUnspecified nouns refer to people or things in a vague way, making it unclear exactly who or what is being discussed. In NLP, this is known as a lack of referential index—a fancy way of saying that we don’t know the specific subject being referred to. When nouns are left ambiguous, misunderstandings arise because people
Unspecified Nouns – Identifying Who or What Read More »
Meta Model Deletions, The Meta ModelUnspecified verbs are action words that lack enough detail to fully explain what is happening. When a verb is vague, people tend to interpret it based on their own experiences—this is known as mind reading. To test whether a verb is unspecified, try visualizing the action. If you can clearly picture the event, the verb
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Meta Model Deletions, The Meta Model