Bandler and Grinder developed the Six Step Reframe technique inspired by their study of Milton Erickson’s use of ideomotor signals and Virginia Satir’s work with internal parts. They presented this method in their book Frogs into Princes.
When we’re children, we experiment with various behaviors, and some prove effective. We tend to keep these behaviors even when they may no longer be useful as we grow older. For example, throwing a tantrum might get results at age four but is unlikely to be effective at age forty-four.
One core principle in NLP is that every behavior has a positive intention behind it. Our actions are driven by motives, usually unconscious, and the brain rarely acts without some form of purpose.
I believe the Six Step Reframe is a powerful and often overlooked NLP tool.
How It Works
- Identify the Behavior: Start by recognizing a behavior or reaction that you find problematic or would prefer to change.
- Connect with the Part: Establish a conscious connection with the part of you responsible for this unwanted behavior. This communication might come as a sensation, image, sound, or voice inside you. When you notice this signal, acknowledge it and express gratitude. Since we often resist certain behaviors, showing politeness helps rebuild rapport.
- Discover the Positive Intention: Ask this part what it truly wants to achieve or provide for you. Focus on separating the positive intention from the behavior itself. For instance, have you ever tried to help someone only for them to misunderstand your intentions and react negatively? Our internal parts operate similarly—they are trying their best to serve you, even if the method isn’t helpful. Recognizing and appreciating this intention builds cooperation.
- Generate Alternatives: Invite your creative self or the part itself to suggest three different ways to meet the positive intention without the problematic behavior.
- Evaluate Options: Have the part consider these new alternatives. Are they acceptable? Could they work as well or better than the original behavior? The part needs to willingly commit to trying these new approaches for a meaningful period. If the options don’t feel right, revisit step 4 and brainstorm further possibilities. True change requires voluntary commitment, not forced compliance.
- Check for Wider Impact: Consider whether other parts of yourself or your environment might resist the change. This “ecology check” ensures the new behavior doesn’t create unforeseen problems. For example, buying a new car that doesn’t fit your camping gear might feel great initially but cause issues later. If objections arise, bring those parts through the same process from step 2 onwards, discovering their positive intentions and negotiating new solutions.